HOW TO AVOID BECOMING A COLLEGE CASTRATE:
The truth hurts and it will certainly hurt you if you don’t treat it like a hand grenade that will blow you to chunks if you don’t watch it. You might want to use a little technique that I used when under the thumb of the Tyrant Lefties.
I pretended to myself to be an undercover agent of the right trying to gather as much intelligence as I could about the fractured logic and the towering egotists that make up the self-adoring, America-hating, Big Left. I tried to make myself blend in with the furniture like any good secret agent man would.
“Bond… James Bond”, is how I introduced myself…a sense of humor is a real panty peeler.
As I got better in my role as super spy, I became more cool than afreezer full of rap stars and, of course, more slippery than fresh pigeon shit on a hot tin roof. I would bring up conservative values and ideas but I did so always with a derisive tone accompanied with the smudgy smirk that I learned to mimic from the BELCHERS that I was surrounded with. It worked for me. I never forgot the lessons I learned as an undercover operative.
You might want to practice by writing a criticism of this book and skewering it at every opportunity. Remember that when you write for the left you don’t have to be guided by the truth or hemmed in by the use of inconvenient logic. Just start by defending an indefensible position which will make you feel like The Man of La Mancha and tempt you to break into your own personal rendition of The Impossible Dream.
You will learn many valuable skills during your voyage through Leftyland.
- 1. You will perfect the invaluable art of being a sincere phony.
Perfect for your first job interview or a career in politics.
- 2. You will learn how to talk in an incomprehensible manner.
Perfect for a career in law or writing new tax code for the IRS.
3. You will get laid by many older Shefties who will flock to you like girls to gossip.(Older Shefties are excellent training exercises for a young man eager to learn the technical art of love making, not to mention a damn fine workout for Mr. Bo Dangles. There is something very comforting about making love to an older woman. But remember to never reveal your undercover status or you could put Mr. Bo Dangles in serious danger even though he is very experienced at working under covers.)
4. You will get invited to a never ending number of parades and demonstrations…perfect for picking up Shefties. Many an afternoon delight awaits the clever under covers operative who plays his hand with skill. (You may want to contact Geraldo Rivera for more details.)
5. Free food. It is hard-wired into women’s DNA to ‘look after’ a young man. Maybe it’s the nurturing thing but you will get lots of invitations to eat and eat well. The rewards of undercover work are numerous and should not be discounted. It is well worth the sacrifice. It is good to eat.